Anyway, I've noticed something. I am constantly looking over my shoulder. Whether I feel someone walking up behind me or not. Just a cautionary measure, I guess...but I'm starting to make myself uncomfortable every time I turn around. I even make sure that my volume is lowered on my headphones in case someone decides to speak to me just so I can be sure to respond. That aspect of my behavior probably goes back to college when I, along with all of the other young women in my freshman orientation class, were told to always acknowledge the catcalls of men on the street for our safety. Ignoring them could yield catastrophic results.
Why is this? Why do I live in the suburbs of Atlanta, in close proximity to Lamborghini and BMW dealerships and park next to Gucci Fiats at Walgreen's and have to still watch my back as if I were that
Perhaps it could be cases like that of Brock Turner. The RAPIST, Brock Turner who also happens to be a former Olympic swim team hopeful, was convicted of raping a young woman he met at a party and not only received about months of probation, but his parents sent open letters to the public complaining about him not being able to have steak anymore. Like...WHAT?!?! HE RAPED A YOUNG LADY! Whether she was drunk or not, he committed rape, and people are honestly, from the bottom of their hearts, complaining about people being pissed at him.
I need to move on, I'm getting sidetracked. Do your googles.
When I go for my morning workouts, when I walk from my car to my apartment after babysitting at night, walking from the grocery store to my car. I'm starting to feel paranoid. But WHY? The fact that I remember girls are told to honor catcalls and handed rape whistles is horrifying when you think about it. And the fact that some men are coddled enough to where RAPE becomes just a mistake made by a boy who means well is the definition of insanity. It has to be.
Rape culture is perpetuated in many communities, either it's a lyric where a woman is "slipped a molly" by your favorite pear loving rapper Rick Ross or your beloved singing hot tub claims that it wasn't rape or sexual assault because she was unconscious is rape culture, it perpetuates the idea that it's ok to take something personal from someone even though they don't want to give it to you. For example, I had a conversation with a cashier at the gas station up the street from my job. It's a store I frequent because they have all of the best snacks. So he and I have a slight rapport, not enough that I would call him friend, but enough that he noticed when I cut my hair and he felt comfortable enough to tell me he recently started dating a woman from Zambia. They were taking it slow and he didn't really know how to approach the situation because she isn't was he's used to. I told him to just take his time and get to know her. His response was, "If I pay $50 for dinner, I'm going to need to do more than talk!" Let alone that $50 isn't worth my hand, let alone my vagina, what makes you think that a woman should feel OBLIGATED to give you her body because you bought a meal? What?! He followed up with "it's 2016!" So the year is what changed everything?
Listen, I'm no relationship expert or life coach at all, but damnit something ain't right! I would actually be more accepting of my precautions if they were the product of fear of being robbed of material things. That may not feel better to you , but I feel like I'm grasping for strings here. Anything would feel better than wanting to go for a walk to clear my mind of the weight and struggles of being Black in America only to be confronted with the fear of being raped! I just realized how sick this is.
Raping someone is not ok. No one owes you their body. If you rape someone, you are a rapist. You can not accidentally rape someone. Drugging someone and having sex with their limp body is rape. Finding someone that is intoxicated and has blacked out and raping them is rape. Taking advantage of someone who's already told you no is rape. Men can be raped. Women can be rapists.
Rape can be avoided. Rape culture can be stopped. Apologists for rapists should shut up. There's more I could say, but there's another Black body lying dead in the street.
...dig and be dug...
