Black, Magic Woman

They hear the tonality of your voice and are frightened by its strength

I revel in its melody

It rocked me to sleep and welcomed the sun to my face

Made me laugh away my tears and pulled me out of my own hiding place

The most fierce battle cry in war

And yet the sweetest taboo

Your roar brings the fire and your whisper calls the rain

Many dare try to force your silence

But your ancestral line would never allow it

They stand beside you like the invisible wind beneath the wings of a Phoenix

Carrying your power to all 

Beckoning them to join in your crusade

When you warned them and they didn't listen, you turned your chorus into an aria and belted every note from your gut 

Not missing a single note after the kicks and the bruises

They try their best 

Loud threats 

Tanks and guns

The audacity of  pestilent imbeciles who call you out of your name

Even still

They know you can save them all

They know what's been given to you

That it can't be taken away

And even if you ascend to the position of the ones that came before you

They know there will be more

Sent from the same plane as you and the ones that gave you your gifts

And they will fight 

With grace 

On their own terms 

You have been mistreated

Disrespected

Neglected

Shunned

Spat on and dismissed

Yet admired

All at once

They hurt you and then panhandle your mercy 

Which you have offered

But only for a matter of time

The sand in the glass is moving quickly

You have been a force since the day God created you

You may bend

But you will never fold

...dig and be dug...

For the Record

Happy New Year!

So much for consistency, right?
Haha...
Anyway..

The year of our Lord, 2017, has come to and end and 2018 has happened upon us like a great new dawn. I've seen quite a few people talk about 2017 with great dismay, but I don't have the same sentiment. For me, 2017 like many other years since entering (what can be) the great abyss of adulthood, was equal parts bitter and sweet.
Ignoring the incompetence of the one who's name shall not be mentioned and the idiocy of both his cronies and supporters, I have no complaints. And if I did, I wouldn't be beneficial to me or you, for that matter, at all. Did I attend the funeral of someone who meant and means a great deal to me? Yes. But she was in pain and it would be selfish of me to wish her to endure that pain any longer just to avoid my own grief.
Was I forced to walk away from a relationship full of potential? Yes. But potential means nothing if there's nothing else there. Who looks forward to potential, anyway? That's like saying "Ooh girl, I can't wait to get home to my man that might be good for me one day eventually perhaps at some point in time whenever that may be. Hopefully." No thank you.
And though those things may have made me sad, your girl bought a house that she loves and has created time and space to focus on her passions. For the past few years I dealt with seasonal depression and tried to keep myself busy doing whatever I could put my hands on in order to distract myself from the inevitable. (How do you MENTALLY distract yourself from your BRAIN. Don't try it. It doesn't work. Take my word for it.)  But I've learned, through recent experience, that for me it's not good enough to just be distracted. Depression can empty you and it's necessary to replace whatever's taken away with something of substance. Pouring back into yourself is a necessity. My job still frustrates the hell out of me for a vast assortment of reasons, but I've been making a conscious decision to not let folks get over. I leave work at work and remind myself that this place is a means to and end and not my forever. I started taking classes and exploring new ways to express my creativity because at this point, being creative is what fulfills me the most.
Anywho, 2017 taught me a lot about myself. I'm starting to feel like a grown lady. I'm excited about my 30th time around the sun and all the good that's possible. Have an amazing 2018, errbody! And as always...


dig and be dug...

When Life Gives You Lemons...

On February 6th, the day after yours truly celebrated her 28th birthday, the Creole Unicorn known to the world as one Beyonce Knowles Carter sent a PSA to all ladies to get in Formation. And immediately, we did just that. Then we waited...for hours. On February 7th, this lady put on a hell of halftime show, that wasn't even hers to have, followed by an announcement of her Formation World Tour. Then we waited...for hours...days...weeks...months...and finally...

Now, I'm not one to speculate, at least I try not to be, but when I heard the name of the mystery project titled Lemonade, I didn't know what to think. Especially after memorizing the lyrics and choreography for her anthem Formation, I certainly wasn't thinking about Lemonade. She was talmbout sippin Cuervo no chaser, not lemonade. I didn't see how it fit, what the project was, if it was a documentary, behind the scenes footage of her upcoming world tour, the secret cave of golden wonders where she hides her fairy dust. No idea...oh but I was going to be there to find out.

Beyonce threw everyone who bare witness to what turned out to be her visual album, onto a roller coaster of beautiful visuals, compelling lyricism and a love story of heavenly highs, hellish lows and the purgatory of trying to get between the two without any permanent scars. Coated in layers of Black Girl Magic and tangible emotions, for lack of better words, Lemonade SLAYED. It featured almost all of my personal faves, professional actresses, athletes, dancers, singers...just greatness. Beautiful, Black, sweet, strong, greatness. So much love and power crept through those camera lenses and out of my TV.

Knowing how things work these days with social media, I put my phone on silent and put it face down on my nightstand so that even if someone were to text or call me, I wouldn't even be able to see my phone light up because this sista wanted NO interruptions. NONE. After Lemonade ended, I made sure all of the credits rolled so I wouldn't miss anything, I opened up my favorite meeting place in the digital world, Twitter. It was covered in countless lemons and bees. 

I was really interested in hearing from people who don't really consider themselves fans of Beyonce and definitely wouldn't consider themselves as any part of the beehive. Not because I wanted to pick a fight or prove that she was above or better than any of their faves...I just know that their fave could never I just know for a fact that nothing like that has ever been done before. 

Most of the messages I saw from people that weren't watching as intently as I'm sure most of the beehive were from people who got caught up on Beyonce talking about being cheated on or Beyonce staying with someone that cheated on her and maybe it's ok to cheat because your girl's going to stay with you when you cheat because Bey did it with her man.

Now, I'm well aware that the latter may be a joke to most, but to some, it makes perfect sense. This is the era of love that is consumed after being heated up in the microwave at high altitude instead slow cooked in the oven. People are idiots and the point is often missed. Lemonade was not about getting cheated on as much as it's a love story written from the perspective of a woman who was hurt by someone whom she loved fiercely. She risked all vulnerability and opened herself up to someone who took her for granted and did so casually, as if he knew what the outcome would be; as if he knew the loss of her would never happen and if it did, it wouldn't be a loss at all. That notion in itself is enough for hot sauce to be in anyone's bag.

As for the former? The idea that speaking on someone's infidelity is some sort of carnal sin and what's ours is ours and ain't nobody else's bidness? Well that is null in void in my humble opinion. If someone hurts someone else and that person sheds the weight of that pain via a beautiful hour long visual and audio masterpiece, WHO ARE ME TO JUDGE? And why on God's green earth would someone who hurt someone else have any right to say how that person healed? They didn't give the person that they were supposed to love, respect and cherish the courtesy of faithfulness and monogamy, so hushety hush playboy. These songs and videos gon fly. These checks she's about to cash and these awards she finna polish are the least of anyone's worries. If someone wanted to spare themselves the embarrassment of being ousted as a cheater then the best solution would maybe, probably, possibly be...DON'T CHEAT. IDK. Just guessing. I still buy CD's so what do I know?

Don't get me wrong, keeping a private love life this day in age is one of the keys to longevity, but hell so is loyalty and you are not being loyal when you cheat. That's also why it's important to recognize that Lemonade is not a story about cheating, which usually ends in pain. It's a story about love which, if it's real, doesn't end. It takes work, sometimes hurts, but if you believe in it and really want it to last for the generations that come up after you, you work at it until you can reach a place of respect and understanding.

Besides, Bey is always talking about how much she loves her husband and how beautiful and sexy he makes her feel, so why is it wrong for her to talk about how much she hurts or what she's going to do if what hurt her ever happens again? 

Anyway, should life hand me anymore lemons from my personal, romantic, or professional life, I can only hope my lemonade is just as sweet.

...dig and be dug...