2016

*Insert typical New Year's Blog*

Just be nice and read it, it's short.
I promise.
You might like it.
Please.
Oh you're still here?
Great!


So I've never been a "New Year, New Me" type of person but I do try my best to make my next move my best move. Last year I did a lot of self building. I'm more confident in myself, not all the way there but better than I was before. I'm willing to share a little more and willing to ask for a little more help. A little. This year, I'm "re-baptising" myself in the hustle, so to speak. I'm more focused on my career in the long term and my personal life. I made myself come out of my homebody habit a few times and every time I did, it was beneficial.

I made my to do list, weighed my pros and cons, holla'd Jesus right quick and I'm feeling a sense of readiness that I don't recall starting last year with. I KNOW that I was just ready for 2014 to be over because that joint kicked my in-tie ass.

That being said, God bless 2016 in advance. Mine and yours, yo mam's and yo cousin's too.

Let's get it

dig and be dug...

So...And Then...

So...
I work in childcare (for now) and we basically have or host nondenominational holidays or no holiday at all, unless of course, the holiday is a part of our director's heritage (which is something I LITERALLY just realized...and now I'm pissed...anyway). For the Holiday season which overflows with religious holidays, I wrote an extremely nonreligious play/nursery rhyme. I created costumes, cast children as characters that I felt would best fit them, etc. I went as far as my creative mind would take me with a budget of $0.

Soo...
One of my coworkers does face painting and make-up for different events and a pretty big scale. I mean, big enough to travel and such. Anyway, she's the resident make-up artist and so I asked her to lend a hand. That being said, I cast multi-cultural actors in the play and so the snow bunny was Black, Frosty the Snowman was Asian and the gingerbread friends were White...

SOOO...
Blackface, right? Your opinion might be "they were little girls dressed as gingerbread people and they were White so they had to be browwwwwwwn." So you should get your own blog and write about that over yonder I don't agree. When Miley Cyrus dressed as Lil' Kim for Halloween she was White with a costume on. No one mistook her for a Muppet or glittery prostitute. We ALL knew she was Kim. See where I'm going with this?
 


SOOOO...
The rest of the day I was uncomfortable. I didn't see the make-up until it was almost time to perform so it was too late to call it off. Now I sound like I'm punking out, and part of me felt like I did, but here we are. I waited until end of day, after I clocked out just in case I couldn't avoid the turn up. I pulled the young lady to the side while we were outside and calmly explained to her that a few people including myself were FIRST not upset because we did not think her make-up was done with ill intent or malice but we were offended because it was very reminiscent of blackface. Her first response was "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!"

SOOOOO...
Mentally, I've checked the surrounding area for children that might be in the way, thought about the fact that there aren't any cameras outside so it would be my word against hers and where the main pressure points were on the human body. verbally, I responded with "No, I'm not." We went back and forth for a quick 3 minutes before we both excused ourselves from the conversation before a lukewarm situation got too hot.

And then...
Long story short, over the weekend, the young lady had a chance to speak with her Black BFF and get my side of the issue and we had a chance to converse a little more in depth the following Monday. Anyway, I told this story not to shame anyone or expose whiteness or whatever. ESPECIALLY because we see it everyday. I decided to blog about this because, though blackface may not be a recurring everyday issue, Black people being offended by someone and that person being offended by our feeling that way IS an everyday recurring issue. Whether it be blackface or police brutality, excessive force or the exemption of Black suffrage at the hands of lazy people who couldn't farm their own land and build their own country terrorists America's founders. EVERYDAY on a much larger, much more painful scale, Black pain is dismissed and covered in pictures of #newBenCarson. I wasn't pissed that this young lady had the audacity to be upset because she's an artist. And artists are sensitive about their shit. I was pissed because she heard me say that I was offended and got mad at me being offended.

Hell of an argument to have in a "post-racial society". This is America, not utopia. Don't get to fooling yourselves. There's work to do.

dig and be dug...

Bromance

I'll keep this one short for now...

Recently a coworker of mine admitted during lunch that she and former coworker had conversations about me over the weekend. They discussed what could possibly be wrong with me for me to be single. I was complimented on my looks and my efficiency and even temper and they just couldn't figure it out.


The only thing I could come up with is...people get on my nerves.


I know I know, folks will always get on your nerves for as long as you roam this earth, so get over it and pick someone, but...ugh. Settling's never been my thing. The word itself, makes me cringe.
I explained to her that I ALWAYS meet guys in these really romantic scenarios that would be really cute to tell our great grandchildren 60-70 years from now as we gaze into each other's glaucoma, and then...it all goes to hell. Straight. To. Hell. I don't know why when I'm turned off by someone, it's so abrupt and irreversible, but it is. And I like me, so I'm not changing that part of who I am. I always try to be friends with whoever it is after the fact until we have to start reminiscing and then I don't wanna play that game anymore. Not going to say that it's never my fault, but again, who likes beating a dead horse. Let it go.

But I'm open to what comes and where it goes. Here's to hoping for the best and never settling. Find someone who runs with you. Shout out to all the lovers and friends...

dig and be dug...

God Bless the Sunshine...

Hello...it's me...something something something...

ADELE'S BACK!!!

Anyway, hey!
I've come to what I hope and believe is a peak in my frustrations. I was approved for a first time homebuyers program and started house shopping when I realized I've had it up to the proverbial "here" with my place of employment. So reluctantly, I put my house hunting on hold because a sista has got.to.go. Also, I don't have the funds to pay for health insurance so the only thing saving me right now is my praying grandmother, my love for water and vitamin C filled juices and the blessings I receive when visiting my local Chik-fil-a's (which I heard I may not be able to do as often or ever again, but I'll get to that another time.) And then, my rent is going up about $75 a month so...there's that...and my car radio died in the middle of Atlanta traffic. But I won't complain about that because my whole vehicle could've just given out but it didn't and my Beats Pill speakers have been more of a blessing than I expected.

I didn't come here to complain, I just thought I'd update folks.

These frustrations did do something for me, though. I finally got the push I needed to stop wishing I was doing something and actually do it, at all costs. AND I DO MEAN COSTS, cuz she's broke. Anyway, I'm back in dance class at least twice a week, sometimes three times. I've allotted more time for me to give back like I want and I'm planning on growing that into something a little bigger in a few months and hopefully something bigger even after that. I've even been on a few dates. Started painting. Stopped skipping wash day and even consistently comb my hair while I'm washing it in the shower. Allowing more time for myself and what makes me happy and what makes the next task flow a little smoother has done just enough good for me.

Near the middle of November/beginning of December, I started to feel myself sliding into a deep rut so to speak. I began to feel like the ground was opening up and I was sliding into a giant hole and couldn't get the right footing to step out of it. Kind of like quicksand, I guess. I did my Googles and found that what I had been experiencing was very similar to something called SAD. SAD is basically what it says lol. The acronym stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, this type of depression is very common in places like Alaska where it can be dark for months and months at a time and affect people around the same time every year. I've always considered myself a solar powered person. Like...I get up as early as possible just to open the blinds. But I thought it was just because I love sunshine...but apparently there's a little more to it. Turns out folks diagnosed with SAD either show signs of insomnia and can't get to sleep or sleep incessantly (I learned that word from Mariah Carey), which I've experienced, bouts of anxiety which I've experienced (Which was a bit of a flag because I'm farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from anxious. Most things aren't that big of a deal to me.) and weight gain which happens to me every year around this time, you'd think it's because of all the holiday food but...I eat like every day's a holiday all year. Some studies show that there's an increase in food loaded in carbs because they are comforting...they also make you gain all the L-B's...I can never wear my summer clothes by mid fall. EVERY YEAR!! IT'S CRAZY!!

Anywho, I said all of that to say (there was a point this whole time, and you had no idea. A-HA!) that sometimes if you feel yourself getting stuck in a rut, it's important to talk to someone that cares about you and what you're feeling and won't just dismiss you. Do a little digging to keep from drowning. Again, I don't have insurance *rolls eyes* so I'm only going off of my Google analysis, but I do plan on trying to get with someone sooner rather than later just to make sure. In the mean time, I have been trying to do things that will help me feel back at 100. Like taking dance classes and volunteering my time and if I have it, a few funds to those that need it. And so far, so good. I'm happy and taking a little more time than usual to take care of what's necessary for ME. It's ok to be a little selfish sometimes. In closing, y'all enjoy everything positive in your life and expect more thangs to come you're way!!

dig and be dug...

Ease On Down the Road...

As a child of a woman who appreciated great art, music, theatre and Blackness, one of the first films I remember from childhood is the 1978 film, The Wiz. If you've never seen The Wiz, what the hell is your problem?! you need to find it and receive all of it's goodness. The original The Wiz was a Broadway musical and was an all Black adaptation of  The Wonderful Wizard of Oz that starred Ms. Judy Garland. A classic film, beautiful music, a memorable moment in musical film history.

But wasn't nan Black person in it.

So, here comes Mr. Berry Gordy, the creator of Motown records and Motown Productions and his ties with Universal Pictures and long story short, WALLAH, magic. This is before the cast included Diana Ross as Dorothy, Nipsey Russell as the Tin Man, Ted Ross as the Cowardly Lion, Micheal Jackson as the Scarecrow, Lena Horne as Glinda the Good Witch of the South, Mabel King as Eviline the Wicked Witch of the West and Richard Pryor as The Wiz...or the Atlantic City, New Jersey born Herman Smith.

                                                        DO YOU SEE THOSE NAMES?!?!?!

That doesn't even include the choir singing the BACKUP vocals and the musicians and writers of the songs. But I need for you to get your own life and research for yourself. Besides, I need to get to the point...

So NBC is doing a...I wouldn't say remake...but they're doing a new adaptation of The Wiz for TV and after re-watching the original film adaptation of The Wiz, I can't say that I agree with all of their casting choices. For example, I love Dana Owens. As a fellow Jersey girl and WHO YOU CALLIN A BITCH affiliate, I recognize that she's one of the best to ever do it. And her weave/press is always flawless, I admire that as well. Buttttttttttttttttt...I wouldn't have cast her as The Wiz, who was originally played by Richard Pryor. Not never. I know she's capable of all things, but I just...I just don't know. And Eviline?! Originally played by Broadway actress best known for her role as "the mom from What's Happening", Mabel King will be played by Mary J. Blige.

...
...
..................

                                                           I mean...again, I LOVE MJB but...

I sound like a hater and I'm not, I just don't stand in agreement with this. No amen from me.

I do believe that you should be the change you want to see in the world, so my friend Kersa and I decided to recast. Here's what we decided.

Kersa voted Ne-Yo in as the Tin Man, before I could get this blog out of my head, it was announced that Ne-Yo actually received the part! She called it.

Auntie Em, will be played by Stephanie Mills who originally played Dorothy for the Broadway debut of The Wiz could also be played Uzo Aduba or Loretta Devine. But we're not mad at the casting of Stephanie Mills at all.

The Cowardly Lion will be played by David Allen Grier. Who I believe would be amazing in the role after seeing him in Porgy & Bess on Broadway a few years ago. But we wanted him to play someone else lol so I cast Phillip Boykin as the Cowardly Lion. Boykin was in the same run of Porgy & Bess as Grier, Look him up!! 

Now being that the Scare Crow was originally played by Micheal Jackson, you KNOW there was some serious dancing involved, that being said, if Chris Brown could just pull himself together for 5 minutes he would be perfect!
Glinda the Good Witch of the South will be played by Uzo Aduba which again, I'm not mad at. But I'm suggesting that Uzo plays Auntie Em, because that voice!!!!! Superb. So in her place we chose Ms. Jill Scott.
Ms. One, one of the first "people" you meet in Oz, would be Queen Latifah  and was chosen by Devyn. She's in kindergarten and she knows what she's doing because Kersa and I couldn't agree more.

Now the reason we started all of this recasting, Eviline and The Wiz, himself.

For The Wizard we chose Mike Epps. A comedian who's proven he also has some serious acting chops. But being that he's playing Richard Pryor in a biopic, it might be weird. So Kersa suggested Kevin Hart. I'm not 100%  with that either, but David Allen Grieras The Wizard...I'm here for that. Hell, if they wanted to switch it it up and have a woman play The Wizard, I wouldn't be mad at Sheryl Underwood either.

Then there was Eviline. After much back and forth, debating and re-imagining, we remembered Fantasia. Vocals out of this world and acting cred to boot. A well reviewed run on Broadway in her pocket and everything.

So that's what/who we came up with. Watch the original film yourself and see if you agree!! Or just watch to watch and enjoy. Let me know what you think! And as always...

                                                               

   dig and be dug...

Relax. Relate. Release.

I'm frustrated. I'm trying to step up and make things happen for myself, mainly so I can repay everyone who's ever done anything for me. And I feel stuck. Like my feet are stuck in the La Brea tar pits or something. So I'm sinking and stuck. I'm not sure how I got here, I can't pinpoint it, but I need to figure it out so I don't make this mistake again. Whatever this mistake was.

But I'm not going to analyze the "whys" and "what ifs"on this here blog, because they aren't really the point of my needing to share my dilemma. Especially since the root of my dilemma seems to be typical for a lot of people I know. Not everyone. But more than a few. I think what might be different about my situation is...I feel SO guilty about feeling frustrated. Not sure if the two go hand in hand but, in this instance, they do.

Guilt started about a week and a half ago, now. My friend from childhood lost her father. Then that Friday, another friend lost her father. Then this past Thursday, my cousin lost her mother.

And here I am annoyed, angry even, that I can't even land an interview.

It just seems so small. EVERYTHING seems so small. I always try to focus on the positive in everything I do, in every obstacle. But for the life of me, I can not even begin to imagine my life without my parents. My mama went to Turks & Caicos for her and my stepfather's 15th anniversary and I couldn't figure out whether I should buy my lunch or just buy dinner because I forgot to take anything out to thaw before I left for work. I realized I couldn't call her and on the absolute lowest of keys...I panicked. Eventually Zaxby's was a blessing to me, but until I figured that out...yo...

It seems stupid. And it's not that I can't think for myself, or I'm so interdependent that I starve without any help from my mama making up my mind. But she and I are just that close. She says all the time that were supposed to be sisters and on some levels, I agree. Although I really couldn't handle my older sister being THAT much smarter than me. Nope. Be my mama, lady.

Anyway, I just needed to get things off of my mind. Keep my friends and family in your prayers, if you pray, or at least in your positive thoughts. Send them positive energy. Remember how blessed you are and how gifted you are, even if others don't take the time to see it.

I won't complain about my frustrations trying to plan my life and my friends and family are planning funerals. Some things are unnecessary. Spread love.

...dig and be dug...

Hi There :)

**Clears dust off your screen**

Hey.

It's been years since I've written anything and I've been bitten by the bug. Again.
A lot's happened since we last met in this place and I must say I've missed you. Yeah, you.

Since we last spoke in November 2012, I've moved outta my mama house (yassss) to Atlanta, I have only ONE job (say what?!) and I'M SINGLE. Ok, well that last part isn't new at all but, still.
As far as America is concerned, it's still spiraling into the abyss of 1930s race relations (Black folk are LITERALLY being lynched) and women's rights (planned parenthood is stealing birth tissue from abortions and sending it to medical facilities...WTF).

I just...I mean...a lot is happening and I need to let off some steam. My laptop crashed and I only get a total of 120 minutes in the library so we'll see how this works out. Hopefully I can maintain better than before. Only having one job gives you a little free time lol. I went through some drafts and I had some good ideas 3 years ago, maybe I'll expound. We shall see.

Stay tuned. She's got some things so say.




...dig and be dug...